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Dear Judged
Re: My Fiance's BreathWhen my fiance does the no-carb diet his breath smells like poop. I say poop and not shit or do-do, because it smells like enfant diaper poop (in the classic sense of the word). How do I tell him without hurting his feelings? Help me old wise one.


Marlowe
posted 2006-06-27 00:01:46


Dear Marlowe,

There are two schools of thought. One, the polite method, is to buy some Orbitz gum. When he starts breathing on you, grab a piece and put it on your mouth. Then offer him some.

That's the cowards way out. True heroes (like me) don't shy away from conflict. The other method is to be preferred. Step on his throat to block the offensive odor.
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Dear Judged


Dear Your Honor,
Dear Judge,

Do you ever experience any physical danger in the courtroom?  You do deal with all those criminals, right? 

Sincerly,

Concerned Bailiff's Mommy



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