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Dear Judged

Just who is Judged? Is he or she a real person? Is he or she really an attorney ? yes, yes, and sometimes yes.

To these questions we, the attorney's representing Judged, can safely answer :
yes, yes, yes, and sometimes y. Officially, all we can say is that he or she "operates" off-shore from a decommissioned submarine so deeply submerged and silent-running that you couldn't find it with a thousand trained porpoises. Judged does, however, have a wicked fast DSL connection and keeps up on all the latest trends and topside gossip, and spends hours each day providing insane but enlightened advice for those of you hard up enough to ask. If it's a question of life, love, or law; if you can't turn to your family and friends for guidance; if blabbering effusively to your sock puppets isn't getting you very far - then it's time to seek the advice of an expert. Judged is not that expert.
But it's free, so what the hell, right?

Dear Judged
Do you ever experience danger in the courtroom?

Dear Judge,

Do you ever experience any physical danger in the courtroom? You do deal with all those criminals, right?


Concerned Bailiff's Mommy

posted 14-01-2008

Dear solsen,

Dear Concerned Mommy,

I personally have been kept safe in the courtroom. Yes, I do indeed see many criminals pass through (and some of them are even the defendant, not their attorney!), but so far I've been kept safe.

That's not to say some of my colleagues haven't had interesting days. Why, I just heard of one poor judge in Trinidad & Tobago that had a man start flinging, shall we say, what he should have left in the restroom. It even hit and sprayed the poor judge.

Here's a tip: Judges deal with enough BS; if you start throwing it at them, you probably won't get much sympathy from the Judge. I know I certainly wouldn't lean favorably in your direction.

So behave!

Dear Judged
A Lawyer for President!!!

Hey Judge,

What say you to the 'Obama Wave' that's hitting the primaries? Do you thinkit's about time we have another lawyer for president?!?

Crush on Obama
posted 08-01-2008

Dear Crush on Obama,

Obama may be a lawyer (my apologies, sir)but there is something distinctly unsleazy about him (my apologies, lawyers). Maybe he really is as decent and intelligent and nuanced as he seems. Maybe . . .

Of course, regardless of who wins, we'll likely end up with a lawyer in the Oval Office come January of 2009. Clinton, Edwards, Giuliani, and even the stiffer-than-stiff Mitt Romneyare all lawyers.

Will it be for the better? Who knows? One thing's for sure: they'll have to do one helluva bad job to come anywhere near the moral, political, and all-encompassing global disaster that has been the last seven years.


Dear Judged
Under the Tree

Tell us, were you a good little Judge in 2007, and did Santa bring you what you wanted?

Disgruntled Legal El
posted 26-12-2007

Dear Disgruntled Legal El,

Well, it just so happens that I was a very good judge this year, dispensing judgment, criticism, and critique whether it was requested or not. Alas, my legal credentials notwithstanding, Santa seems to have overlooked yours truly's xmas wish list.

What did I get this year? A puppy and some leather undergarments. What kind, you say?

I'd rather not divulge such details- it might derail my credibility. But then again,we live in a world where flying reindeersupposedly traverse the globe under the weight of a two ton old man in a red suit.

Credibility - it'ssoooooo overrated.

Merry Christmas!

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Dear Judged

Dear Your Honor,
Dear Judge,

Do you ever experience any physical danger in the courtroom?  You do deal with all those criminals, right? 


Concerned Bailiff's Mommy

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