Video Archives

Even the Comcast techie can't get through to Comcast on the phone.

To whoever it is handling marketing for the armed services these days: hey, you know those ads you've started putting in before every movie I see, before even the trailers? All the stuff about going to new places, learning new things? Use this video for the next one. Go on. I dare you.

Seriously, could this guy look any more suspicious? And to the thief - look, once you've got the goods, you leave the shop. You don't stand around dithering and wondering if the laptop you're stealing has enough memory. It's called a "getaway."

Well, we've all got to learn sometime that we can't actually do one of those flying midair twist-and-kicks like you see in a kung fu movie. Can't you just picture what the kid wanted that to look like? Actually, it would still have looked sort of silly because, man, is that one ginormous ball.

Wait for it. This is completely something I would have done as a kid. I thank God (and my enemies regret) that the opportunity never presented itself.